http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/ en-us 113 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=40550651
it's funny how it's sometimes easy to expose parts of yourself that are best kept hidden, while other, less personal aspects of yourself suddenly seem to cry out to be hidden away. like the shame that's always there has become misplaced somehow. or just channeled in different ways. though the sun has started setting, we won't feel the effects of that for another month or so. i do get some sleep, though. mostly in the early afternoons. i've even been enjoying my dreams lately. old men, submarines. shame is a funny thing. it likes to bite you in the ass…]]> kasperobscene photography theobscenesters Buzznet,kasperobscene,photography,theobscenesters kasperobscene 2008-07-21T21:46:02Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121670196254.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121670196254.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121670196254.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121670196254.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121670196254.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121670196254.jpg 5 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=40543051
when she still lived on the defunct farm that gave us our surname, before she became old and frail and started forgetting our names, i spent all my childhood summers in her house. she turns ninety in november. they say it's for the best that she will die without knowing the truth about who and what i am. i am trying to believe them, but it hurts. i am so ashamed.]]> kasperobscene theobscenesters Buzznet,kasperobscene,theobscenesters kasperobscene 2008-07-21T19:03:41Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121669222164.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121669222164.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121669222164.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121669222164.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121669222164.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121669222164.jpg 13 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=40532451
days spent chained to cigarettes - "you don't get out enough". but my pale skin matches my headaches, and i need something to do with my hands. when one bad habit leaves, an old one returns (i have learned this the hard way in the past). but i am clinging to something, something almost like sanity, trusting it to carry me through my sleepless nights and fight off my unwanted dreams when i just want to rest. everything i want is bad for me. the worst things are never sold in packs of twenty.]]> kasperobscene photography theobscenesters writing Buzznet,kasperobscene,photography,theobscenesters,writing kasperobscene 2008-07-21T15:42:02Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121668012299.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121668012299.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121668012299.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121668012299.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121668012299.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121668012299.jpg 5 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=40523551
i moved into my new flat months ago, but i've only just started getting organised. tonight i put a few of my books and records in the only shelf i have. the majority is still in boxes in my attic - most of the books are ones i've bought very recently - but it feels comforting to have at least something resembling a proper bookshelf again. i love reading, and i love that i'm getting back into the habit of reading after a few years of doing very little of it.]]> kasperobscene photography theobscenesters Buzznet,kasperobscene,photography,theobscenesters kasperobscene 2008-07-21T14:28:29Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121667570945.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121667570945.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121667570945.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121667570945.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121667570945.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121667570945.jpg 2 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=40291361
there's always this noise in my head, it won't let me sleep. sometimes there are pictures, too, i can see them with my eyes half open, but they're clearer when my eyes are closed. imagined surroundings that seem real at the time, making me worry how insane i really am. but sanity seems like something that never was, an abstract concept, or something for other people, when the best i can hope for is some rest at inconvenient times, when the sleepless hypomania has faded and i feel my body begin to tire again, my eyes shutting involuntarily. i can…]]> kasperobscene photography theobscenesters Buzznet,kasperobscene,photography,theobscenesters kasperobscene 2008-07-17T20:25:49Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121635154945.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121635154945.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121635154945.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121635154945.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121635154945.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121635154945.jpg 5 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=38607231
There's this legendary semi-legal squat in oslo called blitz. The whole building is covered in graffiti. It makes me very happy.]]> Buzznet kasperobscene 2008-06-22T23:15:04Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121420170442.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121420170442.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121420170442.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121420170442.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121420170442.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121420170442.jpg 2 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=38048041
there is no silence in my world it is full of voices, melodies and noises fighting for my attention as i try to fight them off praying to a god i don't believe in for some quiet and i wonder where it all began all my life there's been this noise, demanding my attention, never giving me peace tearing me away from my own life, my own body and the noise never stops. nor do the images, vivid and strong, pulling me toward themselves robbing me of my solitude and the chance of peaceful sleep. try to strip it down to nothing, but…]]> bloody awful poetry kasperobscene theobscenesters Buzznet,bloody awful poetry,kasperobscene,theobscenesters kasperobscene 2008-06-13T21:26:01Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121341756161.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121341756161.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121341756161.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121341756161.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121341756161.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121341756161.jpg 13 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=38021091
i can't stop laughing at the idea of ian mackaye watching people masturbate, i'm sorry. dear god, i've gone wrong in the mind tank.]]> kasperobscene lolhardcore theobscenesters Buzznet,kasperobscene,lolhardcore,theobscenesters kasperobscene 2008-06-13T12:20:36Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121338483663.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121338483663.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121338483663.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121338483663.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121338483663.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121338483663.jpg 12 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=37989841
i am far too obsessed with trying to understand my own body lately. Self disgust? More like self obsession, honey.]]> Buzznet kasperobscene 2008-06-12T21:00:05Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-12133296056.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-12133296056.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-12133296056.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-12133296056.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-12133296056.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-12133296056.jpg 21 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=37979691
your brain won't shut up, but they all wish you would. a lifetime of apologies and far too much baggage, the eyes of a victim and the mind of a child. they think you naive, but you're just past caring, and what others have to lose you are still trying to gain.]]> Buzznet kasperobscene 2008-06-12T18:20:21Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121332002174.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121332002174.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121332002174.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121332002174.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121332002174.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121332002174.jpg 5 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=37978901
i miss the way your touch made my body mine again. i miss your body and the way i made you feel. your sounds and your movements, your touch and your sighs. soft skin and broken hearts, kisses in spring and a summer of longing. x]]> Buzznet kasperobscene 2008-06-12T18:08:32Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121331931274.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121331931274.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121331931274.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121331931274.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121331931274.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121331931274.jpg 7 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=37975061
i can't make sense of my own body. i am not exaggerating when i say i do not know what i look like. i can't figure out if i need to lose weight or not. people whose names i can't even remember have come to know my body better for a few fleeting moments than i have managed to do in twenty three years.]]> Buzznet kasperobscene 2008-06-12T17:10:47Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121331584763.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121331584763.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121331584763.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121331584763.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121331584763.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121331584763.jpg 7 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=37973661
i am thinking of going celibate as well as giving up drinking. Booze and sex often go hand in hand for me, and i'm guilty of occasionally having unhealthy relationships with them both. I need to get to know myself better, and i need to start treating my body and my mind with more respect. I'm just trying to find out what exactly that actually means. All i know is that i've spent too many years not being very good to myself, and i want that to stop now. I think i deserve to like myself.]]> Buzznet kasperobscene 2008-06-12T16:39:59Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121331399954.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121331399954.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121331399954.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121331399954.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121331399954.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121331399954.jpg 5 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=37972541
Fuck eating disorders. Fuck obsessing over how much you weigh. Fuck hating yourself for that podgy stomach or those flabby arms. Fuck starving yourself until you're so desperate for food that you eat until you puke and then eat and puke some more. Fuck hiding your pain and your feelings the way you hide your arms in the summer. Fuck your fucking self disgust. Start living. Now. You're worth it.]]> Buzznet kasperobscene 2008-06-12T16:22:04Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121331292428.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121331292428.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121331292428.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121331292428.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121331292428.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121331292428.jpg 6 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=37965871
these are my newest jeans. Yes, those are yellow skinny girl's jeans in a size small. I should be shot. Fucking hipster scum. I blame pete wentz.]]> Buzznet kasperobscene 2008-06-12T14:44:58Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121330709895.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121330709895.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121330709895.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121330709895.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121330709895.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121330709895.jpg 18 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=37967051
i hope this isn't offensive. I don't think it should be. I just think it's a pretty picture. And obviously it's upside down because i'm An Artist, darling, not because i'm lazy. Heh.]]> Buzznet kasperobscene 2008-06-12T02:55:59Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-121330775958.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-121330775958.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-121330775958.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-121330775958.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-121330775958.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-121330775958.jpg 9 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=34922041
the keyhole is the most important part of the tattoo for me. as most of you probably know, it's lifted from the fall out boy logo, which in itself is a reference to a line from their song "XO" - "through the keyhole i watch you dress / kiss and tell / loose lips sink ships". i wanted it to accompany the line "scars and stories" because both the sentiment of the line "we only do it for the scars and stories" and the eye through the keyhole mean a lot to me. the eye through the keyhole represents the…]]> kasperobscene photography tattoos theobscenesters Buzznet,kasperobscene,photography,tattoos,theobscenesters kasperobscene 2008-04-27T06:51:50Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-120930431069.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-120930431069.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-120930431069.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-120930431069.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-120930431069.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-120930431069.jpg 15 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=34745531
it's my first proper fall out boy tattoo, and i love it to bits. it means more to me than "i really really like fall out boy", but let's not get all, ahem, "emo" here. done by mari at buhu tattoo, bodø, norway.]]> kasperobscene tattoos theobscenesters Buzznet,kasperobscene,tattoos,theobscenesters kasperobscene 2008-04-24T11:48:22Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-120906290234.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-120906290234.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-120906290234.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-120906290234.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-120906290234.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-120906290234.jpg 26 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=32178581
i wish i could photoshop my face until there was nothing left of it. blurblurblur sharpensharpensharpen editeditedit. i think i need a new... me. self-disgust? more like self-obsession, honey.]]> kasperobscene theobscenesters Buzznet,kasperobscene,theobscenesters kasperobscene 2008-03-20T01:53:36Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-12060032169.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-12060032169.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-12060032169.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-12060032169.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-12060032169.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-12060032169.jpg 2 0 http://kasperobscene.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=31859751
there is too much at stake. there are too many feelings, and i know too much. i am sorry, i am sorry, i am sorry. there are things i haven't told you, things you must never know. you are so good for me. you are so bad for me. you are not for me. i know. but if you knew... if you knew.]]> kasperobscene theobscenesters Buzznet,kasperobscene,theobscenesters kasperobscene 2008-03-15T21:40:32Z kasperobscene http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/thumb-msg-120564243222.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/synd-msg-120564243222.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/mob-msg-120564243222.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/gallery-msg-120564243222.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/large-msg-120564243222.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/kasperobscene/default/feat-msg-120564243222.jpg 3 0